just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
