his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
