"it" just moved
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Randomize
