So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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