Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize