you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You pole danced in your parka.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
