why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
