ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
