last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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