'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
