Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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