We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
