Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Randomize
