he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
