I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
