I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
