Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
now i know why i became what i already was.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
