i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
