I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want to make out with him forever
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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