hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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