It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
