i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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