i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
