guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
