i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
