the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
