so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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