woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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