Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
