I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
