Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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