whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
