I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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