my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
