North Korea, Best Korea!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
