I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize