The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
