I puked a lego.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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