yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
only you would photoshop your dick
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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