I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
