I wish i was in the wii world.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
