Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize