TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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