She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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