I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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