Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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