i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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