Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
