She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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