do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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