dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
