You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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