there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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