i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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