Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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