You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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