ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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