it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do vagina's smell?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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