is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize