Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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