flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
