no you cant smoke seaweed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
