one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize