theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
