Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
