Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
