I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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