she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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