I need help removing her.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
