Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
