I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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