We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
